this is what the sky looked like yesterday evening. no editing, not kidding.
formspring pt.4
do blondes have more fun?
it depends. i’ve dyed my hair virtually every color, i’ve cut it to an inch short and let it grow a foot past my shoulders, i will fluff up my natural curls and yet i still love to straighten it. no matter what i do to my poor hair, i always end up returning back to my blonde… probably because it simply makes me happy. it makes me a bit more carefree, more accepting of what’s happening, more easygoing. so for me, the answer is yes. but i can’t speak for all the fair-haired folk.
what is your biggest fear?
to one day look back and see i’ve lived, but without being bold in finding my purpose. already there have been so many opportunities where i didn’t speak up for myself, didn’t rise to the occasion to prove to someone else that i was worthwhile. i have no idea why i’m here, why i exist at all. the only thing i know i should do with my life (besides anything creative) is to be kind and love other people with my whole heart. maybe that’s my purpose, i don’t know.
i am really lucky. i have spent the majority of this year totally broke, sleeping on floors and sofas, moving around so much i can’t remember my phone number, and dealing with the fact that i basically have no plans for my life and no place to call home. despite this, my optimism always comes back. my sisters somehow manage to escape our family’s past, and their support is what makes me strong. i have to believe that everything around me means something, that i am living and feeling and breathing for a reason. i guess i’m just hoping that somewhere along the way, the things i do and the words i speak will have permanence. i am not afraid of living my life, i am only afraid of not living it well.
so, here’s to big hearts and taking chances.
breakfast for dinner
and in the most recent winter holidays, it’s
incredible how awkward my family is
sitting around the tree
waiting taking turns unwrapping.
when we were younger it was so easy.
the night before, dad would always
take us to the diner, we’d have
breakfast for dinner while mom
stayed home and played santa.
i miss that magic,
feeling like you couldn’t wait
to wake up the next day to
something you’ve wanted for months to touch.
these days i am lucky to see a smile
that isn’t forced. christmas means guilt,
means feeling like you don’t deserve your life.
december 16.
gpoyw. i am now drinking red wine at all hours of the day.
december does not agree with me.
all that beautiful build-up, just to explode at 5:30. amazing.
sometimes
i hate my heart.
make today go away. please.
this is what the sky looked like yesterday evening. no editing, not kidding.
formspring pt.4
do blondes have more fun?
it depends. i’ve dyed my hair virtually every color, i’ve cut it to an inch short and let it grow a foot past my shoulders, i will fluff up my natural curls and yet i still love to straighten it. no matter what i do to my poor hair, i always end up returning back to my blonde… probably because it simply makes me happy. it makes me a bit more carefree, more accepting of what’s happening, more easygoing. so for me, the answer is yes. but i can’t speak for all the fair-haired folk.
what is your biggest fear?
to one day look back and see i’ve lived, but without being bold in finding my purpose. already there have been so many opportunities where i didn’t speak up for myself, didn’t rise to the occasion to prove to someone else that i was worthwhile. i have no idea why i’m here, why i exist at all. the only thing i know i should do with my life (besides anything creative) is to be kind and love other people with my whole heart. maybe that’s my purpose, i don’t know.
i am really lucky. i have spent the majority of this year totally broke, sleeping on floors and sofas, moving around so much i can’t remember my phone number, and dealing with the fact that i basically have no plans for my life and no place to call home. despite this, my optimism always comes back. my sisters somehow manage to escape our family’s past, and their support is what makes me strong. i have to believe that everything around me means something, that i am living and feeling and breathing for a reason. i guess i’m just hoping that somewhere along the way, the things i do and the words i speak will have permanence. i am not afraid of living my life, i am only afraid of not living it well.
so, here’s to big hearts and taking chances.
breakfast for dinner
and in the most recent winter holidays, it’s
incredible how awkward my family is
sitting around the tree
waiting taking turns unwrapping.
when we were younger it was so easy.
the night before, dad would always
take us to the diner, we’d have
breakfast for dinner while mom
stayed home and played santa.
i miss that magic,
feeling like you couldn’t wait
to wake up the next day to
something you’ve wanted for months to touch.
these days i am lucky to see a smile
that isn’t forced. christmas means guilt,
means feeling like you don’t deserve your life.
december 16.
gpoyw. i am now drinking red wine at all hours of the day.
december does not agree with me.
all that beautiful build-up, just to explode at 5:30. amazing.
sometimes
i hate my heart.
make today go away. please.
